Listening to All the Morning Birds by Jolie Holland

Is it already June 4th? Where does the time go? Had a good weekend so far. Ended up throwing up an inordinate amount of Mexican food, ate some really good chicken liver pate, smoked way too many cigarettes, got an unexpected night off from work, have not been to hungover, slept pretty well, saw some old friends, and even managed to play a little Halo here and there. I think that some parts of my schedule could do with a little revamping, but that remains to be seen. All in all I had a lot of fun with my buddy Tom. However - we are all getting a little older. And drinking just isn't what it used to be. At least the recovery isn't what it used to be. Now I have to get my ass out of bed and take a shower, go to work, blah blah blah.
It's all the same and sometimes I just feel like it's a means to anesthetize ourselves on a daily basis while we wait for something "important" to happen. Maybe the work is what is important. God, I hope not. Slinging drinks may be of great import to the people that are drinking them, but to me, it all seems like the best way to while away the time. That's a half-lie. I do like it. I find something satisfying. But it's just a way to help pass the time. Is that why I sleep so much? Probably. What does that mean? I think that there are too many hours in a day. Isn't that strange? Let's just say, arbitrarily, that you are meant to accomplish something in this life time. Something that doesn't necessarily have to be grand, maybe it's procreation, maybe it's ensuring a purchase at K-Mart, and once you have accomplished that thing, whatever it may be, you have done exactly what you were put on this Earth to do. That is also assuming that we were "put" on this Earth. Then what happens during and after the time you accomplished whatever you were supposed to do? What if I already accomplished what it was I am supposed to do? Am I just sitting around waiting to die? God - that's morbid. I have heard a lot of people say that having children leant a lot of meaning to their lives. I am in no rush to have kids. And, honestly speaking, in no financial position to do it. And I don't feel bad about feeling this way. I just feel...well...like I am waiting. Or maybe just frozen in time. I have been having really intense dreams lately. Nothing too revealing. Just vivid.
Anyway - I need to get up and go to work. Reading Deborah Eisenberg's 'Twilight of The Superheroes.' I highly recommend it.