Listening to: Sailing By Night by Department of Eagles
I am tired. Beyond tired. I am exhausted. I had to record a voice over for this company that sets up exhibits for large expositions, etc. It was all word pairings. I had to say shit like "Form"......"Function"......"Big"....."Small." It took less than an hour and I got paid 250.00 dollars american. Well, I haven't been paid yet, but soon enough. I went out to lunch with my friend Jess. We were discussing, as has been a popular topic with me later, the benefits and social implications of chatting with someone online. From there the discussion naturally led to relationships (another favorite topic of mine, as I'm sure all of you know) and Jess presented me with her theory on the penultimate relationship. The idea begins with the notion that at some point everyone dates somebody exactly like them before they date the person they are meant to be with. Everyone thinks this is a good idea, but then soon finds out it is not a wise decision whatsoever. I am not sure why it is not a wise decision. I mean, I know in theory, but I am not sure if I know in practice. Like, every pot has a lid, right? Which implies that we all need someone to compliment the aspects of our personality that necessitate massaging or the like. But I would imagine that you would find out pretty quickly if you love someone what it is exactly that they need. And that, perhaps, is the danger inherent in dating someone exactly like you - they recognize what they need to survive because they can see it so plainly in your behavior. And let's face it, the person who is the worst at analyzing your tendencies is yourself. Our friends are always pointing out our negative tendencies and helping us in recognizing patterns but we can pretty consistently stop ourselves from recognizing our own negative behavior.
Anyway, once the person that is so similar to you recognizes your negative tendencies (which they are very familiar with because they act the same way) can then withhold whatever it is you may need - in my case positive reinforcement, immediate recognition or thanks for tasks accomplished, aesthetic reassurance, affection, and kindness. Whereas, maybe a person that is the complete opposite of you will help to give you exactly what it is you need because they are inherently good at providing what it is. I.E it is part of their nature and it is not possible for them to act any other way. But then that would assume that the person that is exactly like you is unable to provide to others what it is they need. You know what? I disagree with that. If anything, because of my weaknesses I am very proactive about making sure people get treated the way I would like to get treated.
It's obviously a pretty complicated theory. I haven't fully worked it out. And I am trying to fit past relationships into the paradigm and they just won't be accommodating. My interest in it springs from a conversation I was having with a friend about their eharmony profile. Go ahead laugh. No really - it's pretty funny. Apparently, they don't let gay members join which angers me quite a bit.
Anyway, the point of pride in the eharmony model is their personality analysis. Well this friend and I were comparing notes about our personality profile and our compatibility profile (not to each other, silly - though I think that thought is a little unavoidable when dealing with your own computer generated projected desires) to determine how close the analysis was. It was kind of like reading a horoscope. I mean, all the qualities they described I felt like were things that anyone would want in a partner. Maybe I'm not giving the website enough credit. I mean, their commercials have evidently brought together a lot of unattractive people. But every time my friend read one of her descriptions for what she, according to eharmony, wanted in a partner I felt like "Hey, that's just like me!" which means one of 4 things: 1. Eharmony just writes empty analysis to which we could all adhere or 2. I have a really warped and egocentric view of myself or 3. My friend and I are a perfect match or 4. Some bizarre mix of the three. If I was a betting man I would go with 2. As for my personality profile it was less than complimentary. Actually...you know what? I'll just post it:
So this is what it says about me. I left in the topic headings for easy comprehension.
You may want:
A friendly, favorable social environment.
Acceptance in a variety of groups.
Time and opportunity to weigh pros and cons of decisions.
An environment free from conflict or hostility.
Many and varied activities.
Popularity.
Peace and harmony.
A predictable environment with few surprises that are not "planned."
Sound relationships which form naturally, and are not contriving or scheming.
Equal relations with others.
Recognition of skills and ability.
A support system to help you get things done.
So that was from the needs section. Now I need your help. Isn't this what everyone wants? Am I a moron? Am I really this needy. Admittedly - this is the needs section. Now, as a favor to my obvious need for "popularity" I will post some of my strengths:
Following are some of the specific strengths and/or personal characteristics that you bring to a relationship. These may form the foundations of many of your friendships and dealings with other people. Some will seem obvious, but you may be surprised by others. Take a moment to reflect on each and consider what role it may have played in your past successes, and even failures.
You are usually enthusiastic about activities and planning.
You are passionate about your ideals.
You are optimistic and tend to make others feel good about themselves.
You are a big thinker with big plans and a big image that usually carries through.
You tend to approach problems in a creative way.
You like to resolve issues well the first time, and then move on.
You don't get bogged down when the going gets tough in a relationship.
You meet new people easily and are good at making them feel welcome.
You tend to be self-reliant and not enjoy relying solely on others.
You tend to give others a sense of self-reliance and strength in a relationship.
So those are pretty good things, eh? So do you want to hear what this Dr. Phil rip-off says that I am looking for in a mate? Too bad - I'm gonna post it anyway.
No person can be fully described or defined by a few short sentences. However, here are several of the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate:
Some of your ideal mate's strongest personality characteristics are:
She is very caring, compassionate and sensitive towards the needs of others.
She is always a very loyal and reliable friend.
When necessary, she can take charge and organize others.
She has a strong intellect.
Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:
She tends to be lighthearted and shares your humorous view of the world.
Her friends all appreciate her ability to make people laugh on occasion.
Even when something bothers her she tends to be even tempered.
Even when things get bad, she can usually appreciate the good things life has to offer.
Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:
She enjoys looking her best.
She has a great sense of style.
She shares you attitudes regarding sex.
She has a sensual side that can be brought out by the right person or situation.
Do you see what I mean? I mean who doesn't want these things? Do you really think I want a dumb, terribly dressed, unreliable, dumpy whore-bag that doesn't like to give it up? I mean really! I guess that's a bit of a contradiction. The whore-bag/not giving it up part I mean. Maybe I meant doesn't like to give it up to me - just to everybody else.
Mom?
Side note: Still have not found anyone to go to the concert with me tonight. Sigh. I will just go alone. I also have a date at 5:30. I went to bed at 6 am, was up at 9 am , recorded a voiceover at 10, had lunch, am now about to embark on a nap, have a meeting at 4, a drink/date at 5:30, concert at 8:30 and then home again. I need a day off to do nothing.
And see - this is why it would be nice to have somebody (eharmony approved or not). I could just come home, crawl into bed with them, have a quickie and then pop off to sleep. And I wouldn't waste so much energy on asking dumb questions about eharmony. Whatever.
Another quick note: If you want to hear the best song from 2005 it's called Glenn Tipton by Sun Kil Moon. If you want to hear the best super secret song to give to your lover on Valentine's Day it's called "Lord, If I Ever Needed Someone" by Van Morrison. If you want someone to save your soul you have to check out "Big Mama" Thornton singing 'I Feel The Way I Feel." 'Big Mama' and Van are pictured below.
Alright - nap time.
I am tired. Beyond tired. I am exhausted. I had to record a voice over for this company that sets up exhibits for large expositions, etc. It was all word pairings. I had to say shit like "Form"......"Function"......"Big"....."Small." It took less than an hour and I got paid 250.00 dollars american. Well, I haven't been paid yet, but soon enough. I went out to lunch with my friend Jess. We were discussing, as has been a popular topic with me later, the benefits and social implications of chatting with someone online. From there the discussion naturally led to relationships (another favorite topic of mine, as I'm sure all of you know) and Jess presented me with her theory on the penultimate relationship. The idea begins with the notion that at some point everyone dates somebody exactly like them before they date the person they are meant to be with. Everyone thinks this is a good idea, but then soon finds out it is not a wise decision whatsoever. I am not sure why it is not a wise decision. I mean, I know in theory, but I am not sure if I know in practice. Like, every pot has a lid, right? Which implies that we all need someone to compliment the aspects of our personality that necessitate massaging or the like. But I would imagine that you would find out pretty quickly if you love someone what it is exactly that they need. And that, perhaps, is the danger inherent in dating someone exactly like you - they recognize what they need to survive because they can see it so plainly in your behavior. And let's face it, the person who is the worst at analyzing your tendencies is yourself. Our friends are always pointing out our negative tendencies and helping us in recognizing patterns but we can pretty consistently stop ourselves from recognizing our own negative behavior.
Anyway, once the person that is so similar to you recognizes your negative tendencies (which they are very familiar with because they act the same way) can then withhold whatever it is you may need - in my case positive reinforcement, immediate recognition or thanks for tasks accomplished, aesthetic reassurance, affection, and kindness. Whereas, maybe a person that is the complete opposite of you will help to give you exactly what it is you need because they are inherently good at providing what it is. I.E it is part of their nature and it is not possible for them to act any other way. But then that would assume that the person that is exactly like you is unable to provide to others what it is they need. You know what? I disagree with that. If anything, because of my weaknesses I am very proactive about making sure people get treated the way I would like to get treated.
It's obviously a pretty complicated theory. I haven't fully worked it out. And I am trying to fit past relationships into the paradigm and they just won't be accommodating. My interest in it springs from a conversation I was having with a friend about their eharmony profile. Go ahead laugh. No really - it's pretty funny. Apparently, they don't let gay members join which angers me quite a bit.
Anyway, the point of pride in the eharmony model is their personality analysis. Well this friend and I were comparing notes about our personality profile and our compatibility profile (not to each other, silly - though I think that thought is a little unavoidable when dealing with your own computer generated projected desires) to determine how close the analysis was. It was kind of like reading a horoscope. I mean, all the qualities they described I felt like were things that anyone would want in a partner. Maybe I'm not giving the website enough credit. I mean, their commercials have evidently brought together a lot of unattractive people. But every time my friend read one of her descriptions for what she, according to eharmony, wanted in a partner I felt like "Hey, that's just like me!" which means one of 4 things: 1. Eharmony just writes empty analysis to which we could all adhere or 2. I have a really warped and egocentric view of myself or 3. My friend and I are a perfect match or 4. Some bizarre mix of the three. If I was a betting man I would go with 2. As for my personality profile it was less than complimentary. Actually...you know what? I'll just post it:
So this is what it says about me. I left in the topic headings for easy comprehension.
You may want:
A friendly, favorable social environment.
Acceptance in a variety of groups.
Time and opportunity to weigh pros and cons of decisions.
An environment free from conflict or hostility.
Many and varied activities.
Popularity.
Peace and harmony.
A predictable environment with few surprises that are not "planned."
Sound relationships which form naturally, and are not contriving or scheming.
Equal relations with others.
Recognition of skills and ability.
A support system to help you get things done.
So that was from the needs section. Now I need your help. Isn't this what everyone wants? Am I a moron? Am I really this needy. Admittedly - this is the needs section. Now, as a favor to my obvious need for "popularity" I will post some of my strengths:
Following are some of the specific strengths and/or personal characteristics that you bring to a relationship. These may form the foundations of many of your friendships and dealings with other people. Some will seem obvious, but you may be surprised by others. Take a moment to reflect on each and consider what role it may have played in your past successes, and even failures.
You are usually enthusiastic about activities and planning.
You are passionate about your ideals.
You are optimistic and tend to make others feel good about themselves.
You are a big thinker with big plans and a big image that usually carries through.
You tend to approach problems in a creative way.
You like to resolve issues well the first time, and then move on.
You don't get bogged down when the going gets tough in a relationship.
You meet new people easily and are good at making them feel welcome.
You tend to be self-reliant and not enjoy relying solely on others.
You tend to give others a sense of self-reliance and strength in a relationship.
So those are pretty good things, eh? So do you want to hear what this Dr. Phil rip-off says that I am looking for in a mate? Too bad - I'm gonna post it anyway.
No person can be fully described or defined by a few short sentences. However, here are several of the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate:
Some of your ideal mate's strongest personality characteristics are:
She is very caring, compassionate and sensitive towards the needs of others.
She is always a very loyal and reliable friend.
When necessary, she can take charge and organize others.
She has a strong intellect.
Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:
She tends to be lighthearted and shares your humorous view of the world.
Her friends all appreciate her ability to make people laugh on occasion.
Even when something bothers her she tends to be even tempered.
Even when things get bad, she can usually appreciate the good things life has to offer.
Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:
She enjoys looking her best.
She has a great sense of style.
She shares you attitudes regarding sex.
She has a sensual side that can be brought out by the right person or situation.
Do you see what I mean? I mean who doesn't want these things? Do you really think I want a dumb, terribly dressed, unreliable, dumpy whore-bag that doesn't like to give it up? I mean really! I guess that's a bit of a contradiction. The whore-bag/not giving it up part I mean. Maybe I meant doesn't like to give it up to me - just to everybody else.
Mom?
Side note: Still have not found anyone to go to the concert with me tonight. Sigh. I will just go alone. I also have a date at 5:30. I went to bed at 6 am, was up at 9 am , recorded a voiceover at 10, had lunch, am now about to embark on a nap, have a meeting at 4, a drink/date at 5:30, concert at 8:30 and then home again. I need a day off to do nothing.
And see - this is why it would be nice to have somebody (eharmony approved or not). I could just come home, crawl into bed with them, have a quickie and then pop off to sleep. And I wouldn't waste so much energy on asking dumb questions about eharmony. Whatever.
Another quick note: If you want to hear the best song from 2005 it's called Glenn Tipton by Sun Kil Moon. If you want to hear the best super secret song to give to your lover on Valentine's Day it's called "Lord, If I Ever Needed Someone" by Van Morrison. If you want someone to save your soul you have to check out "Big Mama" Thornton singing 'I Feel The Way I Feel." 'Big Mama' and Van are pictured below.
Alright - nap time.
posted by Ben at 10:36 AM
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