Listening to: South Central Rain by Hem


Today's best quote "Part of the blessing of having not being married or with someone for a long period of time when you're 27 is the fact that you will have a lot of baggage. And the process of somebody getting to know you will be you having to sort through that baggage. "
I just had a friend philosophize on the practical existence of the romantic in today's society. Her implication was that the likelihood is slim to none. Sigh. It should be taken into account that she recently ended a relationship that she had devoted a lot of time, energy, and emotion into. Apart from a few semantical obligations with words, it seemed pretty good.
Maybe she's right. Maybe the chance of actual romantic love occurring is so slim that we should all cultivate ways of finding better cups of coffees, upgrading our Netflix ratings, and deciding where we are going to have dinner that night. All of these simple things we do anyway but it would without the burden of that other person always weighing on our minds.
Romantics are not unrealistic. We recognize that all relationships take work. It's isn't a simple "click." Well, maybe at first. But all of the relationships that are the classic example of romantics had some pretty fucked up circumstances that both parties had to work through. Romeo and Juliet, Harold and Maude, Sid and Nancy, Michael and Bubbles. The key was what made them stay together. That was the key. What was that thing? Love. Pure and simple. To say that romantics are self-saboteurs is to approach fucking sacrilege as far this blog is concerned.
Everybody has best friends that they are willing to lay their life down for. Who is to say that the person you end up loving and being with is not just the same thing except you get sex as a bonus. My closest friends are blessings in my life. As is my family. You know what? Any love-relationship that doesn't meet the expectations I have isn't worth pursuing. Who I am and what I want are completely under my power. And if I end up holding false hope for the entirety of my life than I am confident that I will die the most noble fool in the history of mankind.
When it comes to relationships settling is for rocks.
Don't think that I haven't had my doubts. There were nights when I wanted to set all these question afloat, to watch them drift like dark balloons into the night sky, never to hear from them again. There have been times when I was so hurt and lovesick I wanted to purge myself of all the needs and desires I felt welling up from the person I loved/missed/hated/desired/envied/yearned for. It's all part of it. And you worry "Was that it?" Will I ever be able to do it again. But you can and you will. When relationships end you can look back and recognize the difficulties you experienced. You can categorize it and dissect it but sometimes that doesn't help. Time. Only time can re-establish that hope. I have been around people long enough to see them time and time again be willing to approach that flame with the risk of being burned.
As for the nobility of the romantic, when you decide to love again, and you let that person in, you risk being hurt more than anyone in any "non-romantic" relationship. How much more painful is it to hear a criticism from a best friend or family member than it is a complete stranger? Now imagine a person who knows you better than anyone else, who knows the most intimate minutiae of yours hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, etc. To give love a chance is to risk the noblest of things. Yourself.