Listening To You're Hung On Yourself Girl by Billy Vera

Feeling pretty good these days. I have begun to notice that I can't compete with my hangovers as well as I used to. They are now a two day affair. My buddy Dan comes into town in a few days and it is going to be a doozy of a three day affair. I have to work Friday and Saturday night, but then on Saturday night my friend Sarah is having a going away party at a private biker's club. Then on Sunday my bar closes in Brooklyn and Monday I am going to see the Mets with Dan, Steve, and RIch.
Just in case you have never met Steve or Rich, they are these 40 year old Queens raised pot smoking, partying, Mets fans. Just a couple of great guys that have seen a shitload of concerts. They are great to go to Mets games with. The mock indifference and Yankee fans alike, have an encyclopedia of sayings and cheers and a huge tolerance for beer and peanuts. A winning combination.
The Red Sox are on a winning streak and my 13 year old cousin found my profile on MySpace and is trying to get me to sign up for World of Warcraft. I know that htis will occupy my life forever, so I am trying to be good. But i will eventually sign up for two reasons - 1. It's awesome and 2. I really like my cousin, even though the content of our correspondence could be a little too swear heavy for a 13 year old. But come on, he's heard it all before, right? And I never claimed to be a role model.
I have a date on Thursday. Still up in the air about the whole thing. It's not really following the typical route that most "dating" does. Is there a typical route? Which is not to say that it has been bad. Far from it - it's been nice but just seems to be having a little trouble getting off the ground. I am beginning to recognize that my schedule makes it pretty difficult to see anyone at all unless they want to hang out post 12 am. This limits my options substantially. And I find myself torn between loyalty to friends on my time off and possibly going out on dates with women I am interested in. Not that there are any.
I am always impressed by the positive attitude that accompanies regular stops to the gym. When I got to the gym more often than I don't I am much more happy throughout my day. I feel like I accomplish something. And, although I hate to say it, I think a lot of my confidence is tied into how I feel like I am looking at any given time. I know that this is just simple vanity, but I think that if I am smart enough to own it, then I can be conscious of it. I have a wedding coming up at the end of the month that my high school sweetheart will be attending. I would be lying if I told you that I didn't want to look as good as possible. She is married now of course. And I am truly hoping that seeing her will allow me to release a certain part of myself that I think has been anchored in a harbor for a long time. And I am almost certain that will be the case. I am much more of a realist than I was when I was 16 and although I pretend at Romanticism these days I can feel that sentiment almost certainly dying as time goes on. Do you have any idea how many older men take me aside and tell me not to ever marry? If you knew the sheer number it would blow your mind. The rumors that I am privy to - the amount of infidelity, the hurt feelings, etc. It makes a person want to just toss it in. Or at least not put in the same amount of work they may have done in the past. So when I see this woman I hope beyond hopes that somethings that may have been tied down may be released when I see how different we have become, how happy she is with her husband, how large her ass got, etc.
But back to the vanity - so I am trying to get in a little better shape. Look good, etc. Just be this irresistible single guy from New York, successful commercial career taking off, working at one of the most exclusive clubs in the city. Oh God - that is so fucking funny. Who am I kidding? I am still the geeky dude I was back then. Maybe with better hair. And that's a big maybe.