Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Listening to Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl by Broken Social Scene

I don’t think that I am a very impulsive person at all. I can act spontaneous, improvise comically with the right people, be romantic on a whim, but when it comes to making decisions about my life and critical decisions I may be making I tend to examine and re-examine the decisions until I become frozen in indecision. Sometimes, however, I get a very strong impulse and feel like it needs to be followed. Sometimes I get a gut feeling that I can’t ignore.
Because of this I am coming home.
I woke up this morning in my hotel room in Los Angeles and just felt like it was time to come home. It has been close to two weeks at this point, in fact, just one day shy of it. I have had just about my fill of Los Angeles. Or, at least, my fill of the side that I saw. I am tired and I miss my apartment, my bed, my friends, my family, and my home. I took a shower, scrubbed my face, and decided that it was time to come home. I know that I had said that I was going to explore the possibility of auditioning or making connections while I was out there, but I know that it would have been to no avail. Los Angeles is going to have a hangover for at least two weeks after the Oscars and I don’t think that they want to be propositioned by a no-name actor from NYC. When I was in the middle of that party I had fun. I loved being busy bartending, because I was elbow deep behind a bar. I loved knowing that it would all end eventually but for the moment it was me against the masses. the fact that Carson Daly was one of those masses was comedy enough. However, home is calling. I have worked hard to make a difference in New York in my career and it is where I need to be for now. If Los Angeles comes calling one day that’s fine but for now New York is my home.
I think I may take the next few days I have off and go visit my family in Vermont or Rhode Island. Hell - maybe I will do both. I have a week. I feel like I need to renew and invigorate myself. I want to see my Ma and Pop and kiss their faces. I want to hold my niece nephews and fling them up in the air while I still can.

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