Listening to How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me?) by The Spin Doctors

What is the power of associative memory? Can it be overcome? Is it different for different people? Is it Aural for some people and olfactory for others? I have always loved music and associated certain songs with certain people. As I was lying awake the other night it occurred to me how powerful some of these songs can become. And then it occurred to me that there were times in my life that I had empowered songs to mean something. And then given the song to someone in the hopes that it would mean something to them. Funnily enough, the songs I gave away rarely became as empowered as some of the songs i bumped into along the way.
It was that point in the night, after flipping my pillow to get at the cool underside, that I found myself wanting to reclaim ownership of all these songs. I realized that at some point my viewpoint had changed, that because of the associative power of these songs I had allowed myself to believe that these songs "belonged" to certain people. Now, of course the songs are associated with them, but they are MY memories. And I should have emotional ownership of the songs. It was a weird Goonies moment: "I'm taking them back! I'm taking them all back!"
I shouldn't be afraid of them. I mean, I downloaded them onto my iPod anyway. Regardless of how I felt about the people that I attached them too. Some of them are silly, but really powerful. I will always associate that terrible Billy Joel song "Big Shot" with my father. I used to ride in the front seat with him, or maybe it was just once, and he didn't know any of the words but he would always poke me in the chest and say "Big Shot, Dont'cha!" and for some reason I thought that meant I was really cool. Turns out the song is about a cocaine addicted whore. Amazing what the loving eyes of a six year old can do. That's one example. There are plenty of others. Probably more intimate. Another time maybe.
As for fading, it never really does. I am sure that when I smell my mother's perfume or my dad's cologne years from now it will be just as powerful a reminder of them as any of the songs i associate with them. On a side note, it is remarkable how many young women in New York wear the same perfume as my Grandmother. Either she is very hip or they are ... well ... forget about it.